NanoMed
by Xael
Summary: Based on a freaking annoying encounter I had with a nanomed machine on the video game.


NanoMed+

Author's note:

I don't know if anyone else had this problem when using a NanoMed machine, but I sure as heck did.

In this story Riddick and I can talk to each other via-the headset.

I am making no profit or anything off of this story…'cept maybe a few laughs...so therefore you can't sue me…nanana

(Blah) means they are thinking to themselves while talking.

"Its not gonna freaking work…" a gruff voice said "it might this time." I said

"You said that the last ten times… the E button is gonna get stuck." The gruff voice said. The gruff voice belonging to a mister Richard B. Riddick. You see, I was playing the Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay…and the NanoMed station wouldn't work.

"Can't we just move on? …my neck is gettin' sore." Riddick complained to me. "yea, only one block of health left…and you want to go into a guard infested area… with only 2 clips left in the only gun we have left…the shotgun… your Riddick…not superman." I said to him, pushing the E button once more, making Riddick walk up and press his palms on the scanners of the NanoMed unit…which made two sharp prongs eject from the station and insert themselves into Riddick's neck for the umpteenth time. "NanoMed plus, easing your pain since two thousand and twelve" the mechanical voice rattled out. Still, only one bar of health.

Riddick growled. "This isn't working…and it's starting to piss me off." He said rubbing his neck where the prongs nicked him. "I say, you save the game, we go in, do what we can-" Riddick started "and die miserably in the process." I interjected "-and…if you happen to get me killed (for what was it…hundredth time?) You reload it…and try again." He finished.

I pushed the E button again, repeating the previous action.

"NanoMed plus: We treat you right when; the world treats you wrong" the mechanical voice said… Still only one health bar "for cryin' out loud, warn me next time!" he said getting grouchier with each shot. "Stop being a baby...if this thing will ever work, you will feel better." I told him. "But, its not gonna work…" he snapped. "Maybe we need a cartridge?" I asked, making him run off and scrounge the corridors for an extra cartridge; went down the wrong corridor and had to reload the game.

"That didn't go so well" I said sheepishly "'that didn't go so well!' I got my ass shot off!" he replied angrily.

"Maybe I should reboot the computer?" I asked him "no, we should just go with my id-" he started to say as I shut the game off and rebooted the computer, I turned the game back on. "Did you miss me?" I asked him goofy like. "no." he simply said.

Pushed the E button, kept my fingers crossed.

"NanoMed plus, soothing your aches from the inside and out." The voice said it is mechanical echoing way. "I'm gonna die from blood loss before this thing can heal me…" Riddick whined

"Hey, should we try the big one a couple rooms back?" I asked him. "Worth a try… wait, the big one? But…that one hits me in my chest!" he said as I made him walk to through the other rooms, gun out at all times.

"I killed every thing in here…" he said sighing as we got the big NanoMed machine. Riddick gulped, jumped into the chair, as the visor came down over his eyes, then the chair slid up and three giant prongs impaled his chest. "Mmmgph" he grunted. He stumbled out of the chair glaring at me as best as he could. "That didn't freaking work….made me feel even worse." He said rubbing his chest. "Well, let's go look in the room with the other unit…maybe we missed something?" I said, as he walked back to the room, and walked around looking at everything. "Hey, there's a valve back here." He said turning it. (A/N: you remember that room right before the hall where you cell is, you know…when your trying to get to the pit….that s where this takes place. And I swear I don't know if that valve did turn it on…but in here it does...lol…any one wanna tell me in a review what it really did? That'd be great!) "Woo, maybe the med station turned on?" I said making him run to it.

Placing his palms on the screen, and bracing for the injection. Still one health… "WHAT THE HELL?" Riddick shouted. Pounding a fist into the machine. "NanoMed plus: we treat you right, when the world treats you rough." It chirped. "_RIDDICK'S HERE!_" one of the guards shouted, running up the stairs. "Oh, great one big guy." I said, pulling out his gun, mowing down the guard. "What? You got him. Like…there…is…gonna…be…more?" he said slowly, turning around and coming face to face with a guardbot.(A/N: I know there aren't any in that part.)

Once again I reloaded the game… "Now, no smartass moves right Riddick? You remember what happened right? You got plowed under by a guardbot…" I said casually. "You want to be on this side of the monitor?" he asked "you wouldn't restart the game if I died…" I said smartly, "besides…its not possible." I said I pressed the e button again. "NanoMed plus, soothing you pain from the inside and out." It chirped. "HOLY SHIT!" Riddick yelled, "It worked!" he said happily. He walked up to it again. Same thing happened. He did this over and over. "Um…Jess...hello….Jessica? Are you even there...make this stop!" he said walking over to the console over and over. "Um Riddick," I said slowly. "The um…E button is stuck…"


End file.
